She Rises The Stories of Youth Power
Author: Tang Shiao Nee
Company: Genuinebeauty International
Profession: Body Management
Position: Body Management Specialist
I was born into a traditional and conservative family in Penang, as the fourth child, with older brothers and sisters and a younger brother. From a young age, I was seen as the “good girl” who was obedient, quiet, and well-behaved. But behind these seemingly perfect labels was an unseen version of me, a deeply insecure self.
When I was four years old, I injured my left hand in an accident. From then on, my left hand has become a thorn in my side. I was too young to express my feelings, and I was never truly understood. From then on, I learned to suppress my emotions, and gradually I became timid, anxious, and insecure. Over time, this was no longer just an emotion, it became a habit that quietly consuming me.
During in my school years, which many describe as carefree, were instead filled with anxiety. Every day as I walked into school, my first thought wasn’t about studying, but about worrying, “Will anyone notice that I’m different?”
The long-term tension and repression caused my body began to reflect it. From stomach problems in primary school to menstrual irregularity in university, I gained 15 kilograms, my skin broke out severely, and I no longer recognized myself. I felt overwhelmed, emotionally unstable, and gradually isolated myself. Even my family began to worry about my future ability to take care of myself .
I started gradually develop an inexplicable feeling like a deep sense of unworthiness. I felt that good things, good opportunities, even being seen or liked, they did not belong to me. When opportunities arose, instead of reaching out to grab them, subconsciously retreated, as if they were never meant for me.
Until after graduating from university, I seriously asked myself for the first time,
“What do I truly want?” “Am I ready to take responsibility for my own life?” That moment was the starting point for my change. By chance, I met mentors and friends who profoundly influenced my life. Their affirmation and support allowed me to realize my own potential. I have never been a particularly driven person, yet I mustered the courage to participate in the Miss Charming GBI, standing on a stage with thousands of people.
With their encouragement and trust repeatedly, I slowly progressed from a participant who sitting quietly in the audience to someone who could stand on stage as a host. I started stepping out of my comfort zone, travelling from Penang to Ipoh and then Kuala Lumpur, hosting different types of events and connecting with different people.
It wasn’t easy journey. Sometimes, I still doubted myself and wavered at times. But I chose not to retreat each time but to keep moving forward finding the timid self I once was. I began to realize that I could do it too. And that the moment I was willing to take that first step and to choose to believe in myself, was already meaningful.
Insecurity may not have completely disappeared, but it no longer defined me. I began to allow myself to be imperfect and allow myself to improve step by step. It won’t leave just because you are ready, but you can choose to stand up even in imperfection. The moment you’re willing to take that first step for yourself , your life begins to be rewritten.