Author: Ceil Chok
Company: NIRVANA ASIA LTD, Q-Q RETAIL SDN.BHD
Position: Regional Service Director
《From Loss to Rebirth, This Is the Path I Have Walked》
Hello, I am Ceil Chok. For a long period of my life, everything revolved around a bak kut teh restaurant. It was my husband’s family business, and together, we worked hard for more than thirty years. The charcoal fire, the aroma of herbs, and the warmth of human connection formed the backdrop of our everyday life. I married my husband when I was eighteen. Love was simple, and life was grounded. We had two children, and I believed our days would continue steadily this way. Then, in 1991, my father-in-law passed away from cancer. Soon after, my husband was diagnosed with kidney disease, and from that moment onward, life became heavy and long.
From that year on, kidney dialysis became part of our daily life for twenty-seven years. Diabetes gradually weakened his body, eventually causing serious deterioration in both his legs and eyesight. I travelled constantly between the restaurant and the hospital, carrying the responsibilities of our family while living with worry and pain. There were many nights when I returned home, looked at my sleeping children, and did not know where I would find the strength to continue the next day. But I kept going, because life did not have a pause button.
When the day finally came for him to leave, I found myself standing at the edge of an emotional collapse. Yet whenever I thought of our two children, I pulled myself back. They were still growing, and they still needed a stable home. I knew that no matter how deep my grief was, I had to keep moving forward.
Later, encouraged by a friend, I attended classes at Nirvana Memorial Garden. At first, I simply wanted to visit my husband’s resting place, but six months later, I chose to stay. I began as someone deeply trapped in memories and slowly learned to face life again. During that period, I found strength through faith. I entrusted myself to God, learned to pray when I felt helpless, and found peace through tears. Faith did not take away my pain, but it helped me find the strength to continue.
Working in this industry allowed me to witness too many farewells for which people were never prepared. I also saw families lose their sense of direction in moments of grief and confusion. Gradually, I came to understand that one of life’s deepest regrets is not simply losing someone we love, but being completely unprepared when that loss arrives. That realisation gave me a new direction, and I moved from the bak kut teh business into life education and pre-planning services.
Every chapter of my past has shaped me into someone who understands the pain of loss more deeply. Today, my children have families of their own, and I am now a grandmother to two grandchildren. Looking back, the most difficult years did not defeat me. Instead, step by step, they brought me to where I am today.
Life has never been about avoiding loss. It is about still being willing to stand up again after loss. Faith taught me that even after walking through darkness, we can still choose to believe in the direction of the light. From loss to rebirth, it is not an ending, but a road we continue to walk.
Looking back now, I realise that along this journey, there always seemed to be a light quietly guiding me forward. For every encounter, every lesson, and every step that brought me here, I am grateful.
— Ceil Chok