Author: Zhao Jingni, Master’s Degree | Britishpedia 2024
Company: Seth Space PLT
Expertise: Subconscious Transformation | 2nd Chance
Position: Founder | Subconscious Transformation Specialist
《The Cracks Are Where The Light Enters》
For 1,643 days and nights, I lived as though I were two different people. During the day, I was the woman with a master’s degree and professional certifications—the mentor who stood confidently on stage guiding others. But at night, I curled up beneath the covers, itching all over, unable to sleep, repeatedly asking myself, “What has happened to me?”
Five years ago, I fell into what I now call my “dark night of the soul.” During the first year, I could barely work. My body seemed to collapse with me—I suffered from insomnia, hair loss, rashes, dramatic weight loss and swelling. My marriage, health, career and finances were tested one after another, while even the strength I had always relied on gradually disappeared. I was afraid that my parents would worry, so I kept everything inside and tightened myself emotionally until, at one point, I felt as though I had reached the edge of what I could endure.
Once my physical condition began to improve, the next two years became an even deeper form of suffering—not physical pain, but emptiness. I wanted to move forward, yet I could not summon even a little strength. I could not find a direction, and even more painfully, I could no longer find myself.
And yet, somewhere in that darkness, I kept moving. I completed more than twenty original hypnosis compositions and made them freely available to the public, exploring a different way of nurturing and healing the mind. In that same year, I was unexpectedly included in Britishpedia. I had not completely emerged from the darkness, but it felt as though life was gently reminding me: the road I had travelled was not meaningless.
Transformation was never a dramatic moment of sudden enlightenment. It was a long process of becoming willing to understand the “half-finished child” within me. Through spiritual practice, I slowly learned to accept myself, telling myself again and again, “It will pass.” With each small breath and every tiny act of courage, I gradually called my strength back into my life.
What I am most grateful for today is the version of myself who, during the darkest night, still chose to believe that darkness could become an entrance to rebirth. Looking back, I am grateful for those difficult years because they forced me to examine my life from an entirely different perspective. They gave me the strength to begin again, and eventually led me to use gamified training and the original 3R subconscious transformation framework to accompany people who are ready to change as they rebuild their lives.
I also carry this heart into charitable work. Through fundraising for the Bright Ten Thousand Lamps campaign for children in rural communities, I have witnessed something deeply moving: when we choose to connect with others, the strength we give can become a source of warmth and hope for someone else.
If you are walking through darkness right now, or lying awake late at night questioning yourself as I once did, there is something I want you to know: **you do not have to become perfect before you deserve happiness. Your cracks are not your flaws. The cracks are precisely where the light enters.
Give yourself a 2nd Chance. Life was always meant to be experienced, not perfected. Believe that you are already enough. One day, you will live in a way that feels true to who you are.
As for me, I hope to spend the rest of my life joining others in lighting hundreds of thousands of lamps of kindness—because the light you carry today may one day become the light that guides another woman home.
— Zhao Jingni